1.

Lets start at about the beginning..

texts:
July 22 2007 “I hope you are having the most incredible sleep you've ever had.. I really missed talking to you tonight & I'm sorry I couldn't. Please text me when your up & good night or morning ..whatever should be implied.”

July 23 2007 “The thought of losing you even for a moment is more sorrow than any true being can fathom. I just wont be able to fully function until you are returned to me.. I'm lost without you already."

July 28 2007 “Taylor you really are so great and I'm really lucky to even know you.”July 31 2007 “God I'm happy! You are so great Taylor, Thank you for everything. I care about you so much! You definitely have me!”

2 months later you told me your couldn't talk to me anymore, and you didn't for about 8 months. You then came back around.

August 20 2008 “Honestly Taylor, when we hung out last year and got to know each other I think I really liked you.. I mean a lot.. but I couldn't do that to _________. so when we stopped talking I told myself to just stop liking you. I tried to tell myself how we weren't right for each other but when I did I could never come up with much. I started just feeling anger towards you in a way which turned me into this complete asshole..now when I think we could have a chance I turned into those guys you don't deserve.. and also I'll always have in the back of my head convincing ________. I didn't really have feelings for you.”“Is it going to be okay that we aren't together for right now?”“I will always love you. Taylor your a good friend I honestly don't think I deserve you but I'll always consider you a friend at very best.”and we dropped it. But then..

March 18 2009 “I was thinking maybe giving us a shot? Not saying we will be together... just motion of possibly trying something.. hanging out seeing where it goes. If thats what you want of course.”And a week later here is what I thought was the heart breaker for the last time

March 26 2009 “Well not to change tempo.. but I think its fair to tell you I can't try us right now.. like I think I just jumped into the thought too early. I will give us a try eventually but I just can't.”

we hung out once in that week and as far as I could tell we had a good time at the movies. But you changed your mind. I didn't even know what to think or do... I just wanted you so bad. But I kept telling myself no. just get over him... well I didn't and then competition began between a close friend. And then this shit happened. Here is the real heartbreak and here is where it ENDS!

May 16 2009“I take it your pissed too.. this really felt like a setup Taylor honestly I've like both you before, never at the same time. I never said the same things to both of you because your two completely different people. I can never date you Taylor, because we don't work well together. If I was playing with you before I don't want to continue. You'll always have my friendship.”“Tear into me Taylor. Be as mean as you've ever wanted. I love your heart and it hurt me to not beat around the bush with us. I know you wanted it so bad and I couldn't face telling you I can't feel the same way.”“Please be mean Taylor. Tell me the honest truth... lay into me. You need to be mad at me Taylor. Tell me what I did to ruin your life (or love life so far).. tell me I'm worthless or a “player” or a loser or .. whatever you want . I led you on too much I'm an idiot! I'm so stupid!”“I'm sorry Taylor I'm soo sorry. That makes me feel even worse. I couldn't be more sorry than I am right now.”

Later I asked why even keep talking to me lets just be done with this and you said“Because I value your friendship.. your one of the most caring people I know and that's hard to find let alone let go of.”


So... what the hell happened there?! I don't think I'll ever know but I do know this.. I didn't change. I kept telling myself that it was me, my fault. But it wasn't and you knew that, but all I wanted to do was love you are care for you but because I wanted you.. you wanted nothing to do with me.. to easy. I hope you don't regret your decision. I just wish you had made it sooner, and not drag me around like that for 3 years.